They Left To Go Back To Other Things :(

My Bhabi (my Brother's wife) left today (infact INSHALLAH she'll be back in Sydney at 3 pm tomorrow, she's already in the plane). She stayed here for two months. She studies abroad so she had to leave. We all were extremely sad especially my brother, in the sense, that, she's his wife. We all cried. Even Dad. I was happy Bhabi came and we had fun. Her semester started today but she was here in BD so she has to start classes from the 2nd. My Brother will INSHALLAH go soon to Sydney as well because he had planned to study there beforehand anyways. Also, of course, he wants to be reunited with his wife.

It was fun that Bhabi coming here last Christmas Eve was a surprise. I can still remember my bro clutching his chest, in disbelief at the gift of reuniting with his love. Then telling her to come closer so he could kiss her. Hold her close. It does brings tears to my eyes. He did cry also. After all, for those of you who have the experience, it's hard being separated from your spouse. Well INSHALLAH they'll get together soon in Sydney.

I was really tired today after not being able to sleep well last night. So I fell asleep. Before Bhabi left she got up on my bed and hugged me (well they didn't wake me up up until she was going, they ate icecream I think and got me some too ^_^). I held Bhabi. Then we let go. I held her again. Then she cried. I cried too. Then we went to their room as she was gathering her stuff. As she got out I cried. We hugged again. We cried. We hugged a couple of times more 'cause I didn't wanna let her go. Well then she left. I called her at the airport. Told her my best wishes and stuff I wanted. I miss her now. I feel like crying.

Well, earlier in the afternoon, my fifteen year old Uncle, Tanvir and my Grandmom left too. I heard Tanvir cried a lot. I saw him off last night 'cause I had to go to university early today. We hugged a couple of times too. He came for like two weeks for some stuff with his mom. I saw my Grandmom off today in the morning as she woke up. I called them after my midterm today like at 2:15pm before I could have lunch with a friend. I told them goodbyes, stuff I wanted, to keep in touch - to be connected. I think Tanvir was very sad as he really didn't know what to say on the phone. He may have not like the ambiance of Dhaka, honestly, I as an inhabitant hate it as well. But he loved us. I will miss them now and PRAY TO ALLAH ALMIGHTY INSHALLAH I Get to see them again soon.

It's gonna snow as Tanvir gets home - it rarely snows in Georgia, it's his Dad's birthday too. Bhabi said Sydney will be cold.

We all go to do other things but our families are with us no matter what ^_^

Is English Literature/Literature Dumb?

A couple of days ago, I met a friend of mine who I had spent time with in the residential semester we had in Summer 2008. He is from the electronics department and I was very happy to see him; as I usually have classes in English and most of them keep me occupied, I don't get to see most of my friends outside of my own department. Even when I have do have free time I chill out in my department as our university isn't really the most exciting place to be in. So, if we are not in our department we are eating lunch at a place nearby or just chilling in the department ("we" as in me and my friends from my department).

Well, midterm week is here but when I met him (it was Thursday I believe or Wednesday) our midterms did not start yet and I asked how he was doing. Well it was natural he was tensed, after all, he is in the electronics department and they do do a lot of work and midterms were coming up. However, before I could empathize with him he told me something like this:

" It's easy for you right...you being in the English department, you don't have to study much."

I was a bit stunned for a while. But I answered that's not true 'cause we have a lot of books to read. Well he had to leave so he did. He did leave me with the same nagging feelings that have surrounded me for long.

In fact this guy wasn't the first person who has said this. A lot of my friends has said this. They all give me that look that my subject is a piece of cake and I shouldn't be in university or that it shouldn't be in university. In actuality, they haven't stated it like that. But when you give the vibes that the subject is EASY as pulling out a hair on a head full of hair in your own head, with no restraints added on or circumstances stopping you, you pretty much give the message like that.

I won't lie. I, myself, had doubts being an English Literature student for these reasons. I mean the subject is easy for me. But then when I think of it so is psychology and sociology - nor do I have troubles understanding biology. But as Literature is easy for me it may not be the same feeling for others who are not that into it - as one friend told me. I discussed the statement with another friend of mine and she said that even some her friends tell the same things and she dislikes it extremely. I jokingly stated that these opinionated people should read Roland Barthes' "Myth Today" essay - which is quite a brain teaser actually.

But why did I have these doubts? I love literature, writing, concepts, psychology, history - why did this complex sometimes appear? Well, it's simple. In this age, and in every age basically, the written word has had to face grand underestimations. In this claimed age of freedom and development we have it as well - now as the consumer quality of mass commercialism - that divisions of "thoughts" that can sell are qualified and prestigious. I'm not saying this is ubiquitous in the direct definite sense but it does follow through in many places. I mean most people are in business or doing things that have a commercial basis. I'm not saying that writing is not commercial because many a times writers write for money as well - be it good or bad - but in writing for profit many a times we get what is deemed as trash literature. Trash literature is just an idealogical butchering of any cohesive or individualistic function. Most forms of writing, which do not center too much on the commercial, transcends these flaws or restrictions because the writer's true voice does come out. I'm not saying writers do not write for profit but true writers do not only write for profit.

I just feel that people who tend to think my subject is easy may be quite misinformed. After all if it was just a cake walk then I think it would be too difficult to dupe people into studying it - after all we are not THAT STUPID to pay for things that are simple as pulling random hairs out of our own bodies.

I don't think what I'm studying can be valued as such.

It Is...Nevermind

You try to court comfort
tell him some jokes
pour him some drinks

and maybe stab his back
when he least expects it...

That's tragedy
That's ecstacy
You got back
You dived in
You hurt him good

You try to seduce empathy
tell her she's pretty
pour her rose petals
then drown her until she can't breathe
screeching her last requests

That's horrific
That's epiphany
You got back
You jammed in
You hurt her good

You tossed a coin
Then pulled a trigger on a metal frame
Some old photograph box is kept open
some old poems distinct
a convulated math
swallowing formulae
A mass of gravity within a nutshell

When you see the clouds
Know there will be gates...

First Impressions on "Welcome To The N.H.K."

I have recently started watching this anime on Animax. I just watched around two episodes but it's extremely good!

What really got to me it's that it is based on a novel by a man named Tatsuhiko Takimoto and cover art done by Yoshitoshi ABe which was turned into the anime (as featured in the picture).

The series itself is realistic portraying paranoia and a case known in Japan called hikikomori - which basically deals with people who become agoraphobic and decline from living a social life.

Our main protagonist Tatsuhiro is a hikikomori who starts getting paranoid and believes that he is part of a government conspiracy which is subtitled as The N.H.K. (which is coincidentally Japan's national broadcasting network). He is then casually approached by a girl called Misaki - who is enigmatic - who aims to help him out of his mental condition. However, complications occur when Tatsuhiro starts getting feelings for Misaki only to find their love tricky and Misaki too mysterious. What's more he started to become an otaku (another condition) when he becomes bonded again with his highschool friend Kaoru. Also his old flame Hitomi and him are reacquainted leading to frustrating or complex situations.

The Concept of this anime is really good and I think people should see it.

(Many of the information here is posted on Wikipedia.com and one can go there for further reference. The picture is from Photobucket.com and it's actually the Music Album Cover. Love the Concept and Artwork immensely; it HYPNOTIZED ME - BY ALLAH ALMIGHTY MASHALLAH IT IS BRILLIANT!!!!)

Haiti Let Us All Pray

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/cb_haiti_earthquake

I HOPE ALLAH ALMIGHTY HELPS THESE PEOPLE TO RETURN TO PEACE AND HAPPINESS. OUR PRAYERS ARE WITH THEM...

Love In The Drown

Forever young and merry white
in the throes of an intimate kiss

love is both wet and dry

a beloved amphibian

In the costly wastages of lust

tied to a strange surgical knife

to a wound in a laboratory

sterilized is my tongue

You may eat my seeds

they might grow

longer in the soil

sandier than the clay

Owning in the falsified dichotomy

Owning in a mirage obscure

like lifelines contanimated

like winds of fate misread

So is it me in the wrong deed?
Only absolved by your sex?

mitigated is all senses
I rescue, I rescue you and I from the extremities of selves and ours...

In Sin Lies The Allegory

Writhing in the fortunes of body dust

collarbones and ribcages all in motion

furthermore can be written still

deathly venomous snake is still in prayer

Catch the sinner in the moans
wiped wipe-lust in all lust sogourned

bury in the un-buried loves of woes

seeds plum-thin with potent-starving energies

Volunteered in lust and loving cause of cessation
must thy pioneer in regions scare but bounty of blood

yet blood so visibly not clear

underneath sleeping and waking as if the winking eye

Carrier, prostitute thy whore of all reasonable reasons

thy sweet bitter is a potent wise thing

pet it in the shrieks and tear-gardens

poised in architecture and solemnly uttering...