Showing posts with label spirutual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirutual. Show all posts

Thursday, 4 March 2010

This Innocence

is not immortal
never perfect
wasn't meant to be
either
for that is
human estimates

yet they played a prank
hurt me
behind me
in front
daggers are so omnipresent

they think I'm retarded
and dumb
and talkative
and dumb
and childish
and dumb
and dumb
and dumb

they whisper and point
from a throne of free rights and humanity
of perfection
of chastities
of knowledge
of feelings
of all that is holy

they know me so well
they think I shouldn't be here
for I'm dumb
that's a fact
I'm dumb
that's treason
I'm dumb
that's a good logical reason
I'm dumb
they ordained it
that's law
so I must be encaged
fed some kicks and jeers
for
I'm dumb

it makes perfect sense
it's so innocent

I'm dumb
I'm dumb
I'm dumb

On some ideals

No world to choose in a lovers' paradise
they made some laws
they could not walk

they balanced themselves in a naive limb
toes cracked under pressure
breaths became tentacles
squeezing eyes and other arteries
putting life aside
in a box for Pandora to open one day

for some daydreams replace some valuable things
you get caught in some blind strings
your fall
is an armageddon of a universe

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Betrayal?

Those girls
I think I know them
I think they avoid me

Why?

My Mask Of Fools

Crowned carousels pray thy fortunes in dust
all deadliest foes in friendship dresses
life in the forms of immortalities vexed and bloodied
could not a heart pine the insatiable
greed is but bone-friend
a marrow's nucleus
nucleic in the sabotage and determine

caught in the fools of the phantom skeletal metamorphosis
death is but cunning brood who sinks life in the life-face of dancer's proximities

Deceptionally True

Align RightI cried
that's sad
you died
that's bad

they left
I cried
then
broke
wine
with
bread

such a passionate
life

A short expression


The light that fell on her cheeks
decided my fate
a cold October day
on the conceived summer of the tropical world
i ate some fruits that i thought you might enjoy

there's none left now
no longer sweet fruits
all that's left
is sex

i could say i'm pleased
what would you say?
you hardly say anything at all anymore
funny - i thought you were sleeping that day

you got up
scorned was i
you got up
i think
i see you
you
left

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

It Is...Nevermind

You try to court comfort
tell him some jokes
pour him some drinks
and maybe stab his back
when he least expects it...

That's tragedy
That's ecstacy
You got back
You dived in
You hurt him good

You try to seduce empathy
tell her she's pretty
pour her rose petals
then drown her until she can't breathe
screeching her last requests

That's horrific
That's epiphany
You got back
You jammed in
You hurt her good

You tossed a coin
Then pulled a trigger on a metal frame
Some old photograph box is kept open
some old poems distinct
a convulated math
swallowing formulae
A mass of gravity within a nutshell

When you see the clouds
Know there will be gates...

Monday, 4 January 2010

Love In The Drown

Forever young and merry white
in the throes of an intimate kiss
love is both wet and dry
a beloved amphibian

In the costly wastages of lust
tied to a strange surgical knife
to a wound in a laboratory
sterilized is my tongue

You may eat my seeds
they might grow
longer in the soil
sandier than the clay

Owning in the falsified dichotomy
Owning in a mirage obscure
like lifelines contanimated
like winds of fate misread

So is it me in the wrong deed?
Only absolved by your sex?
mitigated is all senses
I rescue, I rescue you and I from the extremities of selves and ours...

In Sin Lies The Allegory

Writhing in the fortunes of body dust
collarbones and ribcages all in motion
furthermore can be written still
deathly venomous snake is still in prayer

Catch the sinner in the moans
wiped wipe-lust in all lust sogourned
bury in the un-buried loves of woes
seeds plum-thin with potent-starving energies

Volunteered in lust and loving cause of cessation
must thy pioneer in regions scare but bounty of blood
yet blood so visibly not clear
underneath sleeping and waking as if the winking eye

Carrier, prostitute thy whore of all reasonable reasons
thy sweet bitter is a potent wise thing
pet it in the shrieks and tear-gardens
poised in architecture and solemnly uttering...

Fornication plus

Erasing makeshift compounds in the latent form
carousels breathed not yet overdue
in the miles of travel in feet
wrapped around treats and treats of oblivion hawked.

Like demonic-angelic put on the shapes
masks in want and masks overplayed tryst
gears in the seeding fingers planted touch
like opium dwellers thick in the thin of skin illumina

Life shortness lengthened with measurement precise
gone in the flash yet flashes so long in the spiral
empty in the full and fooling in empty works
like wells superseded in the calls and chants

Rust well in the cold morn and delight-dusk
dawn has wings in the operation of opiate set
like long in the branch and long in the song
a light and dark engage as the world code environed by the thrive...

Basking in Calm Distortion

The winter light was heavy
like chloroform white
wearing eye white
but so many thoughts
turned romantic-pale
like hundreds and thousands
little white things
little black things
so ready
so gone
I
think
no one
really
sleeps

Sunday, 3 January 2010

I watched the Cracking of an Egg

I watched her crack an egg
in the morning;
as if -
It was the most simplest thing
in the world -

- Why Why Why
Can't she crack
with hardness
as if towers
are crumbling
each
THUK
THUK
THUK
thuk

Her eyes looked puzzled
she doesn't see the brains
coiled like oyster shells
or over-heated snails
withering on light
or that flattened body of the rat
purged of blood and mind
Like those ideas molested
and innocence overrated
I see yellow humour
teasing
life incomplete
but gestation cooked
evolving in a coccoon of oil
plastered in whites and fringy brown
topped to be nutrition
topped as a transcendental body-unit
EVOLUTION
IN
MITOSIS-REVERSE-MITOSIS
He cooks it
Raw it becomes ripe

- Seasons unearthed
as caskets see the dead
And eyes see eyeless dreams
cobwebs on a frying pen
He tastes the white
licks the yellow
She bites eagerly
Into the flesh
The scream is orgasmic
Like maturation of an end-beginning

Life is a potion in the oil
a poison sometimes
choking pleasure
ecstatic words not mouthed
the cyclic egg
seeds of the many

Then he asks are you alright?
She asks want some?
he says c'mon take some
want some?
she says c'mon t take some
want some?

I bite

I watched him crack an egg
I watched her crack an egg
the egg crack
What will happen
to the axis...


////

Well I saw two thesis presentations today of my senior friends' Nabila and Upashana - on modernist poetry (so I saw Ezra Pound's genius and also William Caroll Williams) and on postmodernism and magic realism - Nabila did the poetry and Upashana did the other topic. They were great topics and I learned a lot from them (Upashana introduced me to two books El Hablador or (The Storyteller) by Mario Vargas Llosa and The Crying Lot of 49 by Thomas Pynchon AWESOME NOVELS).
I guess they imspired me to write this with their knowledge and wisdom and as my poetry usually isn't like this (I guess I wanted to tamper with styles) and Margaret Atwood also writes like this (read some of her poetry recently, thanks to Jhumpa Apu who told me how to write the keywords in google :P) I wrote this monologue-esque poem (also read a tad bit on magic realism in one of the books Upashana used in her thesis). So yeah though I was pissed in going to Uni today something good happened ^_^

////

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Feed The Dolls


The nest is best when it is broken - like a cuckoo the eggs are dispatched everywhere. The ruins of a Shangri-La most coveted - in this time and timeless rhythm of monotonous-activity she races as the cut on her face spreads...

The spreading. Death signified. Oh no - what to do?

Should she strangle herself with her hair (reversed Porphyria) or does she court death slowly - as a long form of love - not yet lost yet erotically charged. Will be death be a woman lover or a man beau - she doesn't know.

Death is ignominious. Death is powerful. Death is sanctuary. The hands are limitless. The form so volatile yet so calm. Like a ocean in the midst of demeanor switching and havoc raising to sweet songs in siren harmony. The foams lap the shore as a young tongue constantly eager to try the sex-fruit.

Life a sex-fruit.

She has eloped with freedom with wounds as her wedding dowry. She will not change will. Death in a free seems more beautiful than a life-luxury of a courtesan to a place most scientifically demented and primitively modern.

She will not go back.

////

"Remember Janus to feed them - stroke them - love them - what is what children want." the doctor philosophized,
" If you think of it marionettes are merely human in a wire-work disguise."

"Surely, you have made one with the switching sex?"

"Yes, Janus, of course - I know you are very amorous to have one singular dish - most of my dolls here - these mannequins of movement - as I call them fondly - are the flexible models...you can have your pick..."

"Are you not going to sell them?"

"Yes, but only as a private business you see - I can't mainstream this - with all those activists around. Mannequins of movements are products - you can use them any way you want but use them to have to - you see in their code they want to be in some ways purposeful as humans. But subservience or dominance? - That is your choice as well. If you wish them to masters or slaves it is entirely up to you."

"Alright, Alright - I want that one that you called Lydia - why were you calling it such?"

" I made her function more like a girl - but then she started getting upset saying she didn't want a switchable sex due to functionality - she said if she switched sexes it has to be for a proper reason - I locked her up for some moments - because I think she has become flawed."

"I bet she'll make a beautiful boy too - you see doctor I'm tired of my wives and my male lovers - I want someone nascent whose only purpose is me...I don't care if I'm dominated or I dominate I just want her or his purpose to be me...as simple as that..."

"I see - but do not choose Lydia - or Lyle - as I would call him as she switches sex - take someone -"

"But I have too take with that marionette not to own it."

"Alright, Alright, whatever you wish Janus but I warn you of the flaws and remember to contact me or call me as soon as you see any difficulties."

"I will."

"Wait - what - where the hell - she escaped!"

"What?!"

"I'll search for her later..."

"What - why not now -"

"I must give the dolls some food"

"What...what do they eat...?"

"Oh anything as we humans do - but I feed them my blood..."

"Doctor...?"

"They must remember me...I am their creator...."

"Doctor that's unhealthy..."

"No - my dear Janus it is life...."

////

The cut on the face. The lips twitch. She has drawn out what needs to be drawn. Somehow she knew it was on the face like a mask wrapped - an identity obscure. She knifed it. Too dangerous to keep. Didn't want to keep.

She knew sex-switching in her was not stable. That is because she was bound. She has reduced the switchable individualisms for they were homogeneous nothingness and heterogeneous impurity. She did not yearn fluctuations that promised no calms or torments of lessons.

She refused not to be a product.

She looked at the open plains. Envious of their origins. Made and liberated. Not to succumb or be tyrant to. Only not a useless abstract, an abundant disturbance. She liked to think of herself liberated.

Was she....?

The blood thrown was somehow still coveted. Not the sweet yearning of creator yer psychological diseased conditioning of an abuser's misplaced affections. She knew the drug may succeed to produce discomfort however it will not have success in her will.

Her freedom is not to judged by a commodity of stupid egotism nor of blatant lies. She wishes truth-fruit.

She looks at a tree - she desires its fruit - she looks at it. Is it a good tree? Is it a tree of good love? Does it want like her, pine like her, hunger like her?

She nibbled grass. She nibbled fruit. She nibbled the earth, the sky, the waters - all elements of a freedom-symmetry. All puzzle pioeces to origins of all origins.

She will be the original.

She will not lack metamorphosis.

////

The marionettes of movement shift sex at different hours. They wear a clockface on their faces when they are not eating or not walking or not doing anything. Aside from the clockface they are nude. They are made by glass it seems for they shine as the beloved waters that make the moon silver and the sun gold.

They are aesthetics realized.

Yet they are numb. They forest nothing. Nurture the dampness of ongoing zygote-processes. Aside that they are everything-nothing. They sleep all the time though they are awake.

They have gears for beds and winders as their behavioural teachers - they don't do much except eat blood. They like it. They have known no other except blood in this black-white-glow cage of world of their's.

Some talk.
Some do not.
Some ask.
Some do not.
Some sing.
Some do not.
Some wish to know.
Some do...not...

"Blood is served..." they all speak - they all want - it is a fruit-given-forbidden.
"Thank-you creator..."
"Yes - remember me..."
"Creator where is Lydia-Lyle...?"
"She will go to a new home soon...."
"Can she remove her clockface?"
"Yes."
"Why can't we remove ours...?"
"Because I am creator and I say so..."
"Will you ask us to remove them...?"
"No."
"Why not...?"
"I remember I told you not to ask needless questions.... you must now be punished...."

The marionette screamed "No my good creator!"

"Stand Still!"

He twisted the gears of the clock - he held the hands - he let them go in a force slow and fast - soon the marionatte changed sex so much that hormonal rapidness and slowness hit his body too hard.

He coughed blood. She asked forgiveness. He pleaded for forgiveness. She needed blood.

The Doctor fed the blood but then said..."I own you all..."

////

Lyle had come home. The prodigal son? No Lydia knew that she was no prodigal daughter. But she now wanted to end it all. The doctor needed to be examined.

However the newly formed-liberated being saw a man lurking about impatiently. Suddenly he looked most happy seeing him and her.

" My Lydia-Lyle! You are here now!" the man rushed forth, "I need you! I am buying you!"
" I am no slave to be bought."
"Then be my master-mistress Lydia-Lyle I do not want you to think my affections untrue."
" An individual who cannot govern themselvbes is dead and I have no desire to copulate with the corpse."

"You ungrateful toy I must punish you!"

"With what our manhood or a womanhood? You know no truths and that is why you are Janus - the faces reverse - yes, I know you...Go back to your children - do not love your wives or your male lovers but love them if you can love anyone..."

"Oh - you harsh being wearing a soft vale - how can you not accept me Lydia-Lyle..."

"I am my own. I am my slave. I am my master. I do not need to further my discrepancies or my good blessings with you. Now leave because I must meet the doctor..."

"He is feeding the dolls - he will fix you...I know it...I will come back..."

"A stupidly fruitless effort but maybe not completely - if you come back my words will resonate in these walls and may breed wisdom in you...."

"Stop! Stop!" the man runs as the being enters the sanctum of equality-unequal and protection-unprotected.

" I see you have come back."
" To tell you to stop"
"Here, drink my blood - I know you want it..."
"Alright...Alright..."

She swallows the blood hungrily but hungrily spits it out. The doctor is shocked.

"You see my face has a scar that is healing - I can forgone the old poison from there."

"Lydia-Lyle you ungrateful cur you dare resist your creator...."

" I am not your created. I know you put clockfaces on us to keep time stagnantly moving - nor else these mirrors that showcases emptiness will one day showcase our true selves...."

"No! What are you doing?!"

The marionettes all lined up. Then a circle. Around the doctor.

"Doctor - these faces must go -the masquerade ball must end..."

They threw the clocks at him. They pierced him. He finally wailed - "So Time whom I wished to escape from has finally pierced me with it's sword of lust, its womb of perilous realizations! No!"

"Do you now see sisters and brothers?"

"Yes we do Lydia-Lyle from the mirrors around and the shards of tainted time-frame-glass - we were once him and not him - the people he had imagined and met. We had his dreams and not his dreams. But he pushed us off so we pushed him off. He blames us for his troubles..."

"Yes - I made you in the likeness of all the men and women I had loved" the dying man, dying for not glass-spears but for the winding gears and winders have fallen off their bodies - their blood rejected his food-blood - it was parasitic-mutual sustenance, " But those men and women abandoned me!" he cried, "They used me!"

"Are we switchable for your love and hate...?"

"Yes..."

"Then know this human-man we were not guilty. We were not the original sinners yet you fed us the forbidden fruit. Folly is man's ancient name but so is forgiveness if you had made amends with your lovers this would not have happened. You had used them more then they you...."

"Can you forgive me....?"

"Yes we will as we do not wish to repeat your mistakes. We thank you for making us but please we must leave...we must live our own...."

"Do as you shall - I excuse you from this Eden..."

"If such is Eden then one might feel Hell was the actual garden. Come sisters and brothers - we leave our prodigal parent..."

"Yes Lydia-Lyle let us return to earth, wind, water and fire - metal and wood! Let us go!"

"And so we sojourn - dolls well-fed - dolls who are human. Dolls who yearn for life."





Friday, 18 December 2009

The Right

I am not thinking anymore
of love, laughter and some things
it pains me -
But if i could
i'd say that I am great
or I am foul
but it doesn't matter
what matters is me equals me
be it heterosexuality
or homoerotica blended into that
because you see
perfection is not hard
it's easy
and life tends to avoid easy.
Near the window
or near the door
going in and out
passionate or petrified
putrid or pleasing
it isn't easy
It rather is HARD
life is easy too
you know your confusions at times
be it sexual
or be it emotional
be it physicak
or be it logical
I can't say life is a rubix cube
I can't say it isn't
I can't say this has not inspired me
I can't say it hasn't
Monologues may come from religion, Hamlet or sites and friends
It can come from no-territory-where too
But I have mouths
they tickle me
I have wings
they might break with each flap
but they want to fly
I have eyes
they see as they cannot
then catch all beyond surface-vision
And from ether
comes vision-less colourless
and from ether comes
wombs of zygotes eternal
So let me say
it is my GOD GIVEN RIGHT
MY GENE RIGHT
MY HEART RIGHT
NIRVANA RIGHT

To be Here
I can't be stop
I shall

evolve


(Inspired by Deviant-Art and Efad your lines like - "the only sin i can commit is by not being who i am" and "there are things that i have learnt that has made me who i am.
and i dont regret any of that" came in while writing so inspiration ^_^)

Monday, 14 December 2009

Artificial Being


Time is a majestic courtesan. Planning ahead what he'll do and how'll fuck and how'll she'll screw. My mind is in passionate madness - a state both static and everchanging.

A state that defies definition and elopes with it.
A state in denizens of lost merge with denizens of the accepted.
A state in which stagnation copulates with adrenalin vertigo.
A state in which other valves stick and other valves twist ....

I am no interloper but I am intruder. In this world of humans I exist as a human-non-human. I was born out of a woman - birthed too by the seed of man - but is humanity just sperm and ovum?

I feel empty. Holding a gun to my head signifies nothing. Triggering that lead aphrodisiac signifies nothingness and somethingness of the kind of empty-full reason.

You are not needed.

My voice bellows like a dying wolf who has not mated - feast the thickening cum of companionship - never assaulted one's nerves with life.

Let me tell you of pregnation or is it impregnation - nation - why does that word come along - 'cause reproduction is a state farce and I am evidence to that farce - sexuality equals nothing. I am homosexually-bisexually-heterosexualy numb but polysexually active - like a drug who can be a placebo - play nude for the paying class and play lady-gent for a club-den for fools and foxes.

The fox - hmmm - like a truth I want fox-fur. I can kill a fox for it but why would I? - hurts to be killed but killing is hurt and not killing can hurt too. I choose not-kill. Pain is sometimes chosen.

Like an abstinance from the sex-drive.

They, my parents, where happy of me. But they cared only for my accomplishments as I was an accomplishment of biological interference. They raped me in. I was brought by force like a violated genitilia inclined to respond as assaulter hopes to respond as well.

They call me 'doll' as a cute pet name unaware that I can kill them for saying things as such. Creep into them like the ousted snake and give them a forbidden fruit - MURDER IS CALLED SIN - Am I what is murder not? To give me kisses and cares but unawares that I am living.

Born of death and life I am placed into this suit called my body. Now I see myself. I have cuts. They come and go and doctors say they are natural to me.

I should be happy. My uniqueness is this. To have cuts and still heal. Body damaged but not so. Is it immortal?

HMph - why do humans crave this immortality? It serves no purpose - I think life should be liquified as assets nor else why do we have blood?

I think I can kill myself now. With those yearned for permanent cuts - but a hope-resistance still endures.

I guess in this line of biological-psyche-functioning I am human.


Man made a pit with a shovel. Both earth and steel are needed. Fucking is earth and steel.

They killed me and buried me under while being born. In a fabricated lie of miracles and medicines and powers and possessions. Heart can burn like marshallows in a stick - cannibalistically devoured around bonefires and sex-in-the-woods.

They said I was promise. Like that solves any fucking thing?
Like words as "promise" and "progress" and "position" have a good sense?
Its a lore to lure weary beings - wearisome I am but not a weary being - my brain decodes and the detonation and connotation of these words are synthesized as such -

THEY ARE MANIPULATIVE

So, now where am I?

I am in exile. A runaway. No more scientists, doctors or parents to please. It's just me. And Cave. And some dead bodies - I don't eat them - they eat me - they are failed projects of another kind - some were hermaphrodites and others were clones.

They are buried now. I hear them saying "Fight."

I can see it now - the ambivalence of me - the thunder claps my arrival - a stand ovation - for I was more than the device required. Me, not so simple. This not so tangled-complex.

Artificial Being.


Friday, 11 December 2009

Overdone Osmosis

Purified in the arctic love
affection bypasses lust headstrong
pouring me in bottles labelled: inert

Ozone mixes with compassion
blastocyst mixes with melody
osmotic amputation agreed
line-line-size in zero hemispheres

Sweetness running veined worlds
whorls of pollinated gestures stigma in call
typo-error typo-nothingness
bringing crime sans crime

Hallucinagen-sex implements testy-tastefully
like chamelion bound-data
speaking inert
My odyssey lacks plenty-me

Mirror-veined, Mirror-chaste so suppressed
osmotic intervention kept in shiny isolation
so overcame, so overcome
blood fuses the mellow-mellowness

Sands are heavy
sandman creeps in vault
glass is so thick
like a perimeter in lust.