Default Persona

" Why are thy so attached to influential chaos?
The heart can find default-love in twisted velocities
In preaching moralities mortality ends with the sinful kiss;
passionate in raping psyches and maintaining dualities
Perhaps, man's faults are tempestuous
Perhaps he is the cast of all materials that associates to depths complex
Yet simplicity occurs in tiny veins, bloods and beats
He is the child of Earth, Heaven's infant, Hell's Pupil
It is the duty of him to seek the reds and whites of the limited path."

Survey - Basically all things needed to be said

THANKS TO ALLAH ALMIGHTY!!!! I'm now a university student in BRAC!!!!

Ok, the first semester is coming to a close thus I have ample work left to be completed. Though the final exams are next week due to certain research papers (For Personal and Uni updates check the inventory) I have yet to start studying.


My second semester will be happening outside Dhaka, my home and capital of Bangladesh, in Savar, a town a few hours away from my abode.


Today after hearing the requirements for my Psych 101 research paper I freaked (minimun 25 pages for introduction and I was only 4 pages in progress!) I started hyperventilating (figuratively) and used prolifically that sweet F word we consider special for these times.

I seriously bit off my mom's head and Shilpi's (the girl who works in my house) but my mom was understanding. Also Wednesday night I slept at Thursday morning (Sarcasm included) at 7:15am precisely, so I was amazed that I could function.


Funny, after finishing lunch I slept at about 4:45 pm only to wake up at 9:15 pm! (Yeah the longest nap I have ever participated in)


I'm not the only one who is sufferring. My dear friend Sonika, a 3rd semester student, conferred to me that the end of all semesters are excruciatingly busy. I felt angry at God (I know I need a life) today due to all these circumstances BUT ALLAH ALMIGHTY GAVE ME GREAT SIGNS OF HOPE A FEW MOMENTS AGO ENSURING SOME SAFETY IN MY PSYCH 101 RESEARCH PAPER!!!!


As For Linguistics, the research paper is more like an assignment of 720 words max I think (too lazy to check) so I am relaxed about that seeing I have ample information pertaining to it.


Thanks to Efadul Huq AKA Poetic Poety I was INSPIRED TO UPDATE MY BLOG AND TO BE MORE ACTIVE!!!!! I HOPE ALLAH ALMIGHTY BLESSES YOU PRODIGIOUS GENIUS!!!!

Well, I'm leaving Dhaka for the Savar Semester (called TARC as the grounds are named that forgot what TARC means though) on the 16th of May INSHALLAH!!!! Classes will start on the 18th Of May.

-----

On another note, today in Psch 101 class we were studying different types of psychological disorders. When we approached the Somatoform disorders this irritating, egotistical boy had the nerve classifying me into this section. He thought I wouldn't hear but the audibility in our class in the Civil Engineer's building (CSC 1001 - the first class on the 10th floor) isn't marginalized. I turned around while he and his annoying female friend (for some reason she recently started hating me) were laughing and he goes like nothing and tests my patience and even my intelligence going about how he was speaking about my dress and its a nice one. Seriously, a child can even comprehend derogatory associations and that guy needs a life; he hates me for NO PLAUSIBLE REASON WHATSOEVER. I stared at him a couple of times after that, to show him I ain't afraid of whatever he has against me.

That girl, who is his friend, also speaks rudely to me. I am no judge of character and I know both these individuals have good qualities that I have seen yet why this meaningly loathing directed towards me? Seriously, it's kinda pointless then again it is their perspectives which govern them.

Sometimes I get frustrated by my life. I just don't have the basic potentials to achieve the things I want to achieve; yet Allah gives me hope.

The Perfect Silence

"Hush
sighing,
sighing,
itching -
breathe:
breathing
distracted.
Hush
Coughing
Controlling
Fingers
numb...
easily
undressing
touch
nakedness
nipping
clothed.
Breathing,
Breathing,
breathing,
scowling
blooming
giggling.
Hot
cold
tense and
perfect.
Silence is
temporary
Silence is
eternal
Silence is only
second
skin
Hush."

Met with Pals today

Today I had an Iftar Party at my friend's place. She is so nice to invite me and my friends to one of the last Rojas of the year to celebrate one of the last Iftaris. Eid is on the 14th and Durga Puja is on the 17th so next week is "Holiday Week". Three of my friends couldn't come but I was extrenely happy to see one of my friends who I had not seen for months (though we talked over the phone it can't compare seeing someone face to face). Well, the whole day I was out. First I went to the parlour "Farzana Shakil's" who were hosting the celebrated Hair dresser, Lata, who cuts for stars (Shilpa Shetty included) who cut my hair !!!! (Thanks Lata!!!!) And her team was also present. Then a great skin specialist also from India as Lata analyzed my skin to find answers for taxing queries. The problems to my skin are not so severe but there are problems. Hopefully, Allah Almighty will get them fixed soon. Then I came home and almost immediately set out for Biology Class which started at 4 pm but ended 15 minutes before 5 as this was the last class before Eid and Durga Puja so people wanted to go off early. I wished my friends their Happy Celebrations and went off to the Iftar party as soon as I dropped off a buddy. From 5 to 8 I was at the party singing, beating up my pals (hehe) and fooling around and then we went up to her roof, which I kinda wanted to see, it's a roof on the second floor and then I dropped off another one of my friends who needed a ride then came home. I spent time with my Dad watching the movie "An American Haunting." and the TV show in Sony Television called "AmberDhara" about two conjoined twin girls who are facing hypocrisy, vandalism and debauchery just because they are literally attached by the hip - I feel really angry when someone really insults girls/boys like Amber and Dhara - those "criticizing" people are DISGUSTING. Then I logged on in here and other places - compared to other days this day had more incidence - then again I'm grateful to whichever life Allah Almighty has given me at present. But honestly, I do get bored at the monotony at many a times.

The CopyCat Blues

" He sits in a coffin
He negotiates;

Earthily imbued
Yet flames kiss him tenderly.
What has identity resolved?
He asks himself this unmitigated deep.
Thrown against facades

He mates with illusions
He craves for the deep

Yet only gratifies the flesh.
Overlooked, Overcooked - what's his game?

He thinks when it rains

Maybe the mask is becoming loose
Time to face the realistic music once again."

A unsatisfied con-artitist's point of view.

Secrets Of A Dark Room

" Specific is a detail enlarging:
Possessed by a carnal want

In the company of lusts and thorns

I cover my skin in bedsheets made of glass
Slicing through those blood-soaked, pure-scarlet kisses
I emerge untainted, unbroken

Though if pleasure be so mutilated

I would be entombed in mirthless ecstacy of a dark room."

What is a Dark room? Is it a place? Is it lust that stains? Is it something so sinful? It is all of these and sometimes it is none of these because A Dark room is more evil - you must rescue yourself from it nor else it will consume you.

Cheated Lover

"Pathetic verses uttered, forlorn
Oh how piously he lies as she succumbs;

I look, stare, prode, humbly watch
Terrified and excited by the mystic longings.

I wish to wage, I wish to secure

That holy truth - the only important thing

As I slay them both..."

A Poem I wrote about the feelings of a betrayed lover who has become insane.