Wednesday 27 May 2009

The Afterglow of my glow

" Piously the sinner awaits in tragedy
   Wholesome to love not love yet lust in the all
    Figures she turns the axis to thy tongue
    Prefers him dried and in the scorched-corpse of mortal-necrophilia.
  
    Tangling in half-hollow loves for which he knew
    Could not the temptation see in clouds?
   Holding obscuirity as one's own pet
   The fated oven to cool ill residues in her.

   Such are the violence in the blueprint
   Fed well as all ancestry, as all apocalypse
   Demanded more into all sweetness of lorn-ness
   Confused and composed for nothing and nothings in the glow of non-glow."

The Crime Of The Modern Celebration

"Unrelentingly
Morbidly
Passionately
Crucified
Onto 
A Plate
Of Non-Existance;
Love bound by bleated commodities
sex-ified to fit the lavish, unrefinied homogeneity.
Blankness mounts upon Blankness
Eyes become only organ-failed-boxes
As their failure records
Sight is but limited perfection
In this modern debauchery
Of You and I."

Beauty | Sleeping

His name was Beauty and he was a damsel in distress.

The most ostentatious feature was the manicured nails; the hair was slightly bleached, yellow sunspots along linear figurations; white skin with lips glossed bubblegum pink. He looked beautiful enough and he was insomnia incarnate. The girls in the class admired him and the boys, surprisingly, did as well. He was not at all ostracized and he was quite ecstatic; he was in insomnia but no one knew it...yet... The boy wanted to be saved by a romantic kiss by another man. He read the story when was younger - how men come up and kiss women awakened from poisoned sleep, so, he decided that it was time that he dressed up beautifully as the women and wait for his man to kiss him awake.

But awake from what? He never asked that and it was not really required. Nor did he think it important because a romantic kiss was an epiphany and it was important to house an epiphany.

So he told his parents:

" I'm on a silent pilgrimage. Bring me a woman but I will not kiss her. Bring me a man and I will surely want to get kissed by him."

The parents found this thought audacious but they were aiming to please him so they decided if a man made their son happy they will definitely bring him one.

Their choice was an older man and Beauty disliked him immediately. The man told Beauty to wear clothes like a man but Beauty could not. When the time came to kiss the man Beauty felt helpless for he did not want to kiss the man.

His parents were enraged:

" You said you wanted a man!"

He was forcefully married to the older man and whenever he wished to dress in vivid colours the older man rebuked him:

" Why are you trying to be feminine? I didn't marry you so you could be feminine; now, did I?"

This traumatized Beauty; this traumatized him so much that he decided that if he was not allowed to but the clothes he wanted then he will definitely make them. Quietly, he brought a spinning wheel and it was one endowed with magic. He decided to be a Lady by night when his husband left him in his boudoir when their marital obligations were over. Then he wore pinks, reds, blues, yellows and greens to his heart contentment and was not obligated to wear only browns and blacks, and other “manly” deeper shades. He scoffed at his husband’s choices and decided to do this.

However, he was quite upset – the enigmatic epiphany of the kiss was not revealed to him.

This is not the right man, he thought, This is not the right man I married!

So Beauty sewed his clothes at night and decided that no one entered the sewing room except him. There was one man in his husband’s manor, the despised philanderer Witch named Charming, who yearned for the older husband’s attentions. He was envious of Beauty’s handsomeness and knew how his “feminine” qualities were despised by his lascivious master. Unable to control his urges, he kissed Beauty and spoke hotly into his ear:

“ I love it when you dress in Pink.”

Beauty felt seduced by charming because he found no romance with his older, domineering husband, thus he decided that this Charming was the prince-man who would give him the epiphany-kiss. So, this was the decision of the passionate Beauty who wore all his pinks and reds in front of the Prince-man Charming.

“ You know this is the way I am,” Beauty confessed, “ My husband thinks I am feminine, maybe, that is true but Charming I feel I am only being myself – I thought being a man meant being assertive and that is what I’m doing; who is trying to be a woman? I’m happy being a man and I always wish that I am a man. In school people loved the way I dressed it’s a shame my husband finds me unattractive. I thought about it hard in my hand but I think a real woman is also one who is able to be herself. I know tradition may call me feminine then I will laugh at those people and gladly accept it for it is me not an artificial ‘man’ who is being himself. What do you think Charming?”

“ I believe you are yourself.” Lied the faithless Charming.

Charming went into the room of the spinning-wheel, as invited by Beauty, and saw all his designs. Charming commented on their beauty (it was true that he liked them) and decided that he might wear some of them as his own secret after the wretched Beauty was gone. He had devised a trap for Beauty but first…he would not disagree that Beauty was beauty incarnate…

“ Let us make ourselves, bind ourselves, share with me what you share with your husband…”

In this slight whisper Beauty succumbed to the delusional love of Charming; he thought that Charming’s kiss that scorched and burned was the epiphany. Yes, it was – but, not the kind he had desired.

After the older husband had returned from the nightly visits to his men and women mistresses he once yearned for the beautiful body of Beauty; tonight, he had drunk too much ecstasy and decided that his feelings for Beauty in the category of lust surpassed the ones he had felt at that moment. He searched for his “wife” and wondered where his husband had lain. He was curious as Beauty was not in their bed nor in his boudoir. He grew worried and restless as he needed Beauty to satiate him but who would appear but Charming dressed in white and pink – Beauty’s newest design, who he had made for Charming.

“ That dress looks impressive Charming, something a woman would wear – but it suits you.” He caressed his servant’s cheek.

“ Master you do not let your wife, Beauty, wear such clothes…”

“ It’s because he gets happy, I want him to be miserable so that our lives do not get interfered by his admirers – I want him to be masculine – I think him to be masculine so that I can have some of my other fantasies quenched. He did not like me before and so if I allowed his femininity she would think me not man enough for her so I want him to be masculine. Also I had seen him feminine, I want to see him masculine as well – both sides of his fleshed coin I wish to explore…”

“ My master quench your thirst on me.”

“ Very well Charming,” the older man slaps him, “ Remember to be more humble…”

“ Yes…yes…I’m sorry, forgive me…”

“ I will forgive you after you have satisfied me. Then I will seek Beauty…”

After the deed Charming’s mischief comes to play, “ Master, do you want Beauty feminine or masculine tonight?”

“ Both as my other whores lacked his femininity…”

“ Would you start with feminine then sir or masculine?”

“ If he is wearing his feminine clothes behind my knowledge I will rip them off his skin and then tell him to follow his obligations.”

“ Sir, he sleeps in his sewing-room.”

“ What sewing-room!”

“ Master here it is!”

The older husband is astonished to find a naked Beauty; covered in nothing his “sin” is for the world to see. The older man is furious!

“Beauty!”

Beauty is shocked to find him in his sewing-room and what was worse he saw the smugness in Charming’s face. He is confused, “ What are you doing here? How come you know?”

“ You wretched slut! You spend your nights away from me with other lovers and sew clothes I detest!”

“ No! It was only Charming…only Charming…” Beauty’s tears questioned Charming.

“ Oh Master forgive me but your husband had seduced me!” Charming spilled pseudo-water and the older man was convinced.

“ I will punish you Beauty!” The older husband beat Beauty hard, “ Your clothes are to be burned in your blood!”

He set fire to his “feminine” creations and pricked Beauty’s fingers and let the blood drop into the flames. Beauty cried in shame and anguish, in despair and sorrow. All this time he had been deceived and he gave himself to a man as bad as his husband.

“ Now Beauty, your real punishment begins…” the older man looked with menacing eyes that hungered for satisfaction.

Beauty shriek as his spinning-wheel was used to spin glass onto his skin. Every part of his body glowed in blood and shards! He cried and cried and cried!

Charming was actually afraid but he laughed – laughter for Beauty’s punishment but fear for it as well.

“ In this your lust will sleep!” the older man showed no mercy to the heartbroken, spirit-broken and flesh-broken Beauty, “ Your love for me is all you need! This mirror will only show me the person you only need to see and you will stay in this room until I feel satisfaction in your devotion!”

With it he raped Beauty and left stating, “ Charming will now get your belongings! You will only get them back after you have satisfied me!”

Years went by and Beauty was defiled and defiled and defiled and left to his glassed body. Charming enjoyed the position of Beauty as the legal concubine and cared not for Beauty. He only went to kiss Beauty awake before the older man would visit. He would coo:

“ I have come to awake from the poisoned sleep of your pricked fingers by the spinning-wheel.”

“ Why Charming have you done this…?” Beauty wept and questioned.

“ Because I am rightfully the husband or wife, whatever you wish of this rightful man not you…” then with a smug smile, “ Thank-you for the dress you made me I ever so love it…I also wear the other dresses too and use to the spinning-wheel to put more jewels on them.”

“ You have…you have…” Beauty wept some more.

All Charming did was to awake him to his now doubled insomnia. Prince Charming awoke him from his glass prison but just awoke him – never free him.

One day, after being horribly raped, Beauty decided to escape. He used the mirror’s powers by night to move in shadows. As the mirror showed the image of the master of the house and the moon cloaked him in her body’s pureness, the guards did not suspect anything awry. He escaped into the forests but found moving a torture: his skin gashed with the glass he wore as his coffin drained him of blood and energy!

As time went in the forest Beauty encased himself in a glass room made of glass fragments that fell of him. It was a crypt, to see himself; as disfigured in a beautiful mirrored prison. He wept but did not know how to remove the mirrors with direct force. He forgot of his dreams of being kissed. He knew it was hopeless. No man would kiss him awake. All women found him like this – a decoration piece. He felt humiliated. He prayed and prayed for some reason.

One day a beautiful person came – Her name was Poseidon – but she work thick armory made out of water. She saw the boxed-house and thought who had made it. Her Kingdom was Water across everywhere and she found it odd that a watery magic was feeling to be misused. She destroyed the house of glass to see the scarred glassed Beauty inside.

“ Oh my God! What has happened to you!”

But Beauty had lost his voice…too sad to speak…she approached him and kissed him…

In a fury all glass broke and glass smeared with blood but the glass inside was not broken. Poseidon carried beauty into her own private spring and laid him there.

Suddenly Beauty’s anguish turned to anger! He wanted justice and he wanted to grow wings!

He started scrubbing himself and the remaining glass mixed with water and then they became wings of glass upon Beauty’s back. He looked at Poseidon with gratitude and determination:

“ Come sweet Prince-Woman-Princess, I, your Princess-man wish to exact revenge!”

“ Of course water used for inappropriate lust cannot be forgiven!”

They went to the older man’s manor and saw him asleep. Poseidon used her sword called Ice to stab him and he howled awake.

“ Now old man you will be my deceased husband!” Beauty screamed, he used his wings to grow shards and with the help of Poseidon used the spinning-wheel’s needle to sew into him a mirror-prison.
“ Now this mirror will show you, yourself!”

And the older man screamed as he saw the glass become more deep and sharp and soon it stabbed his innards as an Iron Maiden and set him ablaze in his own Blood. He finally was ashamed seeing his own perversity.

“ Now Poseidon I will punish Charming!”

“ Do not forgive him Dear Beauty! Kiss him awake to his Macabre!”

Beauty found Charming his Boudoir and Charming awake to Beauty’s lips, which gave him a kiss, but they were glazed with glass:

“ My beautiful lips!”

“ Hush thy devilish spawn!”

And Beauty kissed the wounded, damaged lips of Charming until he became weary of speech. Beauty looked in horror as his clothes were altered: each of them had precious stones sewed into them making them look as clumsy masses!

“ You have disfigured my beauties! You have disfigured my passions! You have disfigured me! Now I shall disfigure you!”

Beauty took the spinning-wheel and started taking his clothes and then he sewed them into Charming! Charming screamed and screamed and he sewed and sewed, until Charming laughed and said, “ What will this do?!”

“ You will become only what you lust you wretched evil!” Poseidon instructed.

Charming realized that his avarice was his greatest hunger and he foolishly succumbed…All the lace, diamonds, stones and jewels replaced his skin, flesh, organs and blood. Soon he looked like some grotesque mannequin made of nothingness – he screamed and broke apart.

Beauty then set fire to the spinning-wheel but pricked his fingers and drew blood. With that blood he forged the sword called Sleep.

“ Why have you done this dear Beauty?” Poseidon asked sweetly.

“ You have awakened me but I have also awakened myself, this sword will put to sleep my woes and sorrows – this is the first step, I will reclaim my life.”

With it he kissed Poseidon and asked if he could marry her. Poseidon decided to wait, “ My sweet Beauty let us not be in haste – you have much to recover and we must know each other more than by our deeds.”

Beauty agreed as he did not want to marry Poseidon until he was sure enough that he loved her wholly and knew her. Besides he could be swept away by another woman or man in the future.

Beauty had woken from his waking insomnia – he pined for the kiss of epiphany but with more knowledge of its powers to awake. His parents, ashamed by their decisions, asked forgiveness. He forgave but had a new pilgrimage:

“ My odyssey, my pilgrimage now, is to survive obstacles and keep myself whole.”

He then wore a garment made of vivid blue, green, red and pink in lovely illustrations and looked himself at a long mirror. He gasped at his fullness:

“ And I am asleep no more.”

Sunday 24 May 2009

Tidal

" The Tempest escapes
Poseidon's anticipation
crumbled floors
On  seabed ateliers;
crispen semi-motionless
all gravity becomes.

And what of Ether?
And what of tides?
They seem sprayed out
to the armagedon of the sea!

Rushed the guilty sea-king
To the nymphs arms
Oh exhilarated demise!
Come here so thy opiated foam arises!

And the nymphs all giggled
the mermaid-men all catched
The sea-airs are all land
And the legend of fantasy passes to ancient forgotten..."

Touching callous in a raw

" Afternoon forged the artic sun
Decayed in the illumination-luminant phase
All arts are all burned in light
Lightning of the day came to strife.

The contrasts of photographic ecstacy
the light shining in delicious mirth
and all lies smiling in whispers
' I do!' in the fall of time.

And hourglasses painfully succumbs
the crashing tombs of hands unspent
the line we measure in unmesurable theory
comes closer to sabotage with the kiss."

The Carpe-Diem Of Sin

" The phonic retribution lies in lustful grabing
plain-played are all woes in the rusted caves
In the artifice of loving in stage and staged glasses
the actress tilts her head in awed horrors.

All the phantoms come to consume
and dine in corpse-living cries
that gestate as wanton grievances
pampered still in the heart's walls

She is decided in the nets
He too follows on the swore
damned in the crucifix of all belongings
are the blatant definitions of 'you and I.'"

Thieving Ailments

" Punishing the superfluous
wretched contaminations lies in flamed
auspicious-type callings
The rape of mentality screws the tappered testings.

It is the heavenly foes and hellish bedfellows
caustic canopies in the mutilated offsprings
damaged by the desolate armours
all while she is calling no one.

So wil he? Will she?
None knows the macabre of the within-exterior
The physicality-spirituality twisted in smiles
falling into arms of all savageness and unorderly."